Lesson 1: Finding out what you REALLY want
Reason #1: Society, culture, media, and so on have brainwashed us into thinking about what we should want or do. Whenever there is “should”, there is an absence of your own desire.
Reason #2: Today, we have so many options and shiny objects that we’re paralyzed. We don’t know what to prioritize or pursue. So we stand paralyzed, not making any decision. We keep dreaming of different options but never commit to anything. So we stay inside our fear bubble and live with that all our lives.
The solution to both is simple: knowing what the hell YOU want. Not your parents, not your spouse, not your kids, not your siblings, not your friends, no one but you. So how do you find out what you want? It’s rather simple.
First, write down the first things that come to your mind that you think you want. Money, fame, status, whatever.
Now for each answer, write “What is it about X that is important to me?” Keep asking until you can’t go any further. That’s when you’ve found the essence of what you really want. All the things before that are simply the means to get it (which can change by the way).
You’ll have a list of core things you want in life by the end. Everybody’s list would be different, but here are a few items you can add to the list to have your final list ready:
Growth, Freedom, Meaning, Well-being, Peace, Wisdom, Prosperity, Accomplishment, Fame, Fun, Experiences, Dream Lifestyle, Respect, Love, Creative Expression, Engaging Work, Contribution, Impact.
Do you have your final list with you now? Good. Now, rearrange them in the order of priority. You may have to make difficult choices here, but you must have your list rearranged to drill down the most to the least important things you want.
Congrats! You have your final list. This doesn’t mean you can’t edit it ever. As you grow and change, the list may change a little and that’s okay. But having an ordered list that works for you at any given time of your life is important.
Now one final exercise for the day: Just like you brainstormed the things you want in life. Write everything you don’t want in life. In other words, what do you HATE? What won’t you tolerate in your life? Go wild and crazy. Pour your heart out. This is the time to express. No one’s judging or watching. Go.
Do you have your list? Great! Now you’re clear of what you want and what you don’t want. I hope that was a valuable exercise for you. That’s the foundation we needed as we move forward.[/text_block]